By Sopranos Blueprint
Episode 11 -
"The Aftermath"
Dr. Melfi: Welcome back. At our last appointment, you took me through the night at Holsten’s with your family. When we ran out of time, you were telling me about how certain people around you were acting shortly after this all happened. Why don’t we talk some more about that?
Meadow: Honestly, those first few days after June 10th were a blur. The first time I remember waking up and not feeling like a boulder was sitting on my chest was later on that summer. Patrick and I finally got away, just the two of us. It wasn’t a big trip or anything, but we went down to the shore and just spent time in the peace and quiet.
Eloping in Atlantic City with Patrick Parisi
Dr. Melfi: While you were down at the shore, besides just having the peace and quiet, was there anything else you did that you enjoyed?
Meadow: Well, we ate lots of saltwater taffy, got married…. Dr. Melfi: You got married? That’s kind of a big deal, no? Meadow: Well, we decided to make it way less of a big deal by eloping. We’d gotten engaged earlier that spring, and we were originally planning on doing the whole big-to-do wedding. But after everything that happened, I was in no way up for that. I think the vulnerability I felt at the time and my fear of loss pushed me to a place in my head where I really needed security and stability and a calming presense, and Patrick was there for me.
Dr. Melfi: And your mother? She didn’t work, either, right? Meadow: A couple of years before “the fire,” she decided to build a house nearby with my grandpa and sold it to a cousin of hers. She made a nice chunk of change and decided she was going to continue investing in spec properties. The woman can barely sit still. I don’t think she’d even know what to do with herself if she just sat down and exhaled for a few minutes.
Talking to the Ones Who Remain - "The Remains"
Dr. Melfi: Have you ever spoken to them about anything that happened?
Meadow: Them? No way. What would I even say to them? “Hi, can we talk more about when my dad was killed?”
Dr. Melfi: You could start with “Hi, how are you?”
Meadow: But what’s the point of that?
Dr. Melfi: I don’t know. Sometimes talking helps. Even if it doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with what you’re upset about.
Meadow: It’s just difficult when talking isn’t really part of the standard protocol in our world.
Dr. Melfi: And where has that gotten everyone?
Meadow Making the Call
Doctor Melfi: If it’s okay with you, I’d like to continue where we left off at our last appointment.
Meadow: Honestly, those first few days after June tenth were a blur. The first time I remember waking up and not feeling like a boulder was sitting on my chest was later on that summer. Patrick and I finally got away, just the two of us. It wasn’t a big trip or anything, but we went down to the shore and just spent time in the peace and quiet.
Besides just having the peace and quiet, was there anything else you did that you enjoyed? Well, we ate lots of saltwater taffy.
Got married. Well, we decided to make it way less of a big deal by eloping. We were originally planning on the whole big-to-do wedding.
But after everything that happened, I was in no way up for that. I think the vulnerability that I felt at the time pushed me to a place in my head where I really felt like I needed that security and stability, and Patrick was there for me.
As far as AJ, he didn’t even acknowledge what happened at first. So when I was just like laying there, barely able to move he kept bothering me about hybrid cars and the environment. It was like his mind had a complete disconnect.
Remind me: Does your mother work or did she work?
A couple years before “the fire,” she decided to build a house nearby with my grandpa and then sold it to a cousin of hers.
She made a nice chunk of change and decided she was going to continue investing in spec properties. I don’t think she’d even know what to do with herself if she just sat down and exhaled for a few minutes.
I’m no doctor, but I do read quite a lot about psychology, so I know our brains are capable of some pretty clever maneuvering to stop the dam of emotional pain from breaking and keep the pain temporarily at bay. But what happens when the dam does eventually break? Where do we go from there?
I had this odd feeling when we were at Caitlin’s baptism. And trust me, I’ve never considered myself like super religious. But I always get emotional at these ceremonies because I don’t know, it feels like even if just for a few minutes we’re all just watching and experiencing the same thing. This really beautiful, familial, spiritual moment of togetherness, celebrating birth and new life and hope.
But I just couldn’t shake the feeling. That sour feeling in the pit of my stomach.
I think back to the day that we buried my Uncle Bobby. And how afterward, everyone was just sitting around the table, so casual, nonchalant. As if we’d all just gone shopping or had some fun family gathering, rather than a funeral for someone who just died a violent death.
It’s like, what are the options? Are those the only options? Anger and rage or numbness? Pretending that whatever just happened didn’t happen? How else can we survive?
And my brother was right when he said “life is absurd’ way back in the day.
How did the other men that your father worked with react to all of this? I mean, besides your father-in-law. Were you close with any of them?
Meadow: Not really.
Dr. Melfi: Have you ever spoken to them about anything that happened?
Meadow: Well, by that point, let me think for a minute. Well, Uncle Sil was dead. My cousin Christopher was dead. Uncle Bobby was dead. Uncle Paulie was alive.It’s just difficult when talking isn’t really part of the standard protocol in that world.
Dr. Melfi: And where has that gotten everyone?
[After Meadow’s appointment, she calls Benny Fazio]:
“This is kind of an awkward question. Actually, this is a very awkward question: Could we talk about that time awhile back when sh*t hit the fan for everyone?
Benny responds with, “Yeah, let’s meet. But Meadow, just ahead of time, there are some things you should know. And they’re not pretty.”
Â
