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15 Best Richie Aprile Quotes

15 of the Best Richie Aprile Quotes from The Sopranos

Richie Aprile was only in one season of The Sopranos, but he sure came and left with a bang. In fact, Richie is one of the main reasons why the second season is my favorite of them all. Here are what I see as the 15 best Richie Aprile quotes from The Sopranos. (Note: not in any particular order!)

1. "Veal Parmigiana sengwich? F**k you."

Richie Aprile with roses and violets
Season 2, Episode 3, "Toodle-f**king-Oo"
Richie Aprile telling Tony Soprano about the full leather jacket.
Season 2, Episode 8, "Full Leather Jacket"

3. "Like the Tao says, you gotta shut one door before another one can open."

Richie Aprile talking to Tony Soprano
Season 2, Episode 8, "Full Leather Jacket"

4. "Ho, Johnny Sack! They must've had free tokens at the tunnel."

Richie Aprile at the executive card game
Season 2, Episode 6, "The Happy Wanderer"

5. "Well, it's funny. Paulie Walnuts told me he ran into you this morning."

Season 2, Episode 3, Toodle-f**king-Oo"

6. "Someday, somebody is gonna wash out your mouth with soap."

Richie Aprile talking to Livia Soprano about someone washing her mouth out with soap.
Season 2, Episode 3, "Toodle-f**king-Oo"

8. "How's your sister?"

Richie Aprile asking Tony Soprano how his sister is doing.
Season 2, Episode 3, "Toodle-f**king-Oo"
Richie Aprile smashing a coffee pot over Beansie Gaeta's head at the pizza place.
Season 2, Episode 3, "Toodle-f**king-Oo"

10. "Did you ever think you'd see Richie Aprile doing downward facing dog?"

Richie Aprile in ToodleOo
Season 2, Episode 3, "Toodle-f**king-Oo"

11. "Did you ever notice he’s the only motherf***er who can smoke a cigarette in the rain with his hands tied behind his back? That nose is like a natural canopy."

Richie Aprile telling a joke about Christopher Moltisanti's nose.
Season 2, Episode 8, "Full Leather Jacket"

12. "If there's ever anything you can do for me, let me know."

Richie Aprile talking to Matt Bevilaqua and Sean Gismonte
Season 2, Episode 8, "Full Leather Jacket"

13. "Jesus, Anthony, you'd do that for me?"

Richie Aprile talking to Tony Soprano at the mall
Season 2, Episode 3, "Toodle-f**king-Oo"

14. "You think I started this life ten minutes ago?"

Richie Aprile talking to Davey Scatino at his sporting goods store
Season 2, Episode 6, "The Happy Wanderer"

15. "You called yesterday to complain? That's our policy. It's written on our trucks. Double your garbage back if you're not satisfied."

Richie Aprile is talking on the phone to an unhappy client abiut garbage.
Season 2, Episode 11, "House Arrest"

BONUS: Richie's face when he sees the husband of the Sopranos family maid wearing the jaaacket.

Richie Aprile giving an angry look in Full Leather Jacket
Season 2, Episode 8, "Full Leather Jacket"

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